Not brilliant... Brilliant2

I want that blissful ignorance back.
I was sitting today and I realized something:
It is gone. I will not have it back in this lifetime.
No longer can I worry just about being the first to the blocks at recess.
No longer can I ride on my father's shoulders at a baseball game.
No longer can I feel that ethereal magic at Christmas time.
No longer can I throw snowballs, get hit in the face, run inside to mommy, sit down with cocoa and a hug.
No longer can I sit at the front door, nose against the glass watching for daddy's car to drive up.
No longer can I be a child.

It is sad. But not too sad. I miss it terribly. There are so many things I wish I could relive. But I suppose recognizing a moment is a defining moment in your life doesn't really matter; in 15, 20, 25, 60 years you'll just wish you could relive them again.

It should be sad. And it is/isn't.

The world is telling me I need to grow up, but do I? Do I really?

So many people I know and have known that I miss and want to tell things I never told them but I'll probably never see them again because I don't even know where they are (mostly) and they probably don't even give my memory a second thought if at all but I love them allthesame and miss them and want to hug them. But I can't. I CAN'T.

I want a someone to cry on. I want a big hug and a long cry

I'm a closet hopeless romantic if I've ever known one.